I know I should be essay-ing it up at the moment, but I have to take the time to rant before my head explodes.
GUM.
I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say that I never, ever chew gum cause I do. But I chew it only for immediate flavor or for a bad breath quick fix. I do not chew AT LENGTH. Despite how unappealing the idea of chewing on your own bacteria is, that is not the core of my beef against gum. I don't hate gum per say, I hate everything about the chewing of it.
Setting aside the fact that I seriously believe myself to have some form of misophonia (hatred of sound) disorder, I cannot bring myself to justify loud, obnoxious and crude gum chewing. It elicits some form of a reaction in me, just short of murderous rage.
You want to chew gum? Okay, that's completely fine. BUT let's say, you're in a dead quiet study room. And you chew your gum SO LOUD, and pop gum bubbles SO OFTEN and sharply that you have the teacher's assistant bobbin' his head out from between the computers to figure out who the hell is also driving him NUTS with the popping and the chewing. I know I'm not alone in this cause years and years ago I remember Oprah talking about how she finds it to be the most disgusting habit on the planet. And how she once had a guest at one of her dinner parties, put her old gum on the rim of Oprah's plate (WE HAVE ALL DONE THAT... well on our own plates, not Oprah's). That grossed out Oprah so bad she threw the plate out. Now I know we're not all able to be throwing out plates left and right cause we're not gazillionairs but the point is, Oprah hates gum too. And more importantly she said, "who can possibly look good while looking like they are constantly chewing a big fat steak". Sigh. So true. See? even Oprah said so.
You hate me now don't you?
So I must say that I agree agree with you on so many levels, but my neurosis actually stems from a pure "germ-aphobia" stance! How about the people that, when they do decide to spit out their gum, they spit it into their hand and then throw it into the garbage... Can you say FAIL... [person] you are so nasty.
ReplyDeleteI love this blog and I love your little rants, you know my style and I am "don't ask, always tell" kind of person so may I rant for just a second? thanks Pau
What is up with empty soap dispensers in the washroom?... I am coming out of the woman's washroom tuning on the tap reaching for the soap dispenser when I am faced with the disgusting truth... NO SOAP.
So lets think about this I have just wiped my ass, I have touched the facet, I have touched the soap dispenser and now my hands are infested with germs... WTF you gotta be kidding me. Now I am not only feeling disgusting I am ranting by myself in a public washroom while other women around me just rinse their hands off and call it day... are you all serious has anyone heard of the "spread of illness"?
Fine: I tell myself I'll just go purchase hand sanitizer that's why its invented and as I walk out of the washroom one of the woman packing the pitas at the "pita spot" walks in...FML we are all now contaminated.
Phew Thanks girl for letting me get that off my chest,
Billie