No more. I cannot handle this.

Have you seen this? Crazy Stupid Love.
I've decided to pretend like Ryan Gosling doesn't exist because it's too much. He was too much before I saw him half naked. He was too much when he was so passionate in Blue Valentine. He was too much when I found out he's quirky and weird when I read his GQ article. Now...I just can't.
If you do not find him attractive, you are made of stone. My answer to any question to the effect of "if you could with any celebrity..." RYAN GOSLING. "who is your favorite..." RYAN GOSLING. And so on.


If I ever heard him say to me "wanna get outta here?", I would have a stroke I think. If I was twelve, I would have his poster in my room and kiss it goodnight.
I once bumped into him on the corner of Homer and Smithe about two years ago. He was with two friends, wore a sexy leather jacket. Wasn't too tall which is more than fine. I was with my two girlfriends (shout out to Nemers!) and we were all waiting for the light to turn to cross the street. I think he head nodded a hello (I'd like to believe that). Moments before, we had just raided 7/11 on a late night snacks and junk food run....
And I was eating a goddamn Toquito. I was standing in front of RYAN GOSLING and I was eating the armpit of food. Cruel, cruel world.

It's like the old you again (kind of)

I remember in first year university, when I first came across Perez Hilton, intently following Britney's mental breakdown. Though it felt as bad as watching (and kinda sorta enjoying) a slow moving car wreck, I couldn't not follow my childhood idol get into some weird shit. The wigs, the aimless driving around, the partying, the crapastic Gimme More video, that fucking painfully cringefull VMA performance, the photoshoot antics, the umbrella waving and um, the head shaving...like that is an A+ in nutty public unravelings. "How did that happen? Not our Britney!" Ummmmmmm....
People often forget though that Britney Spears has always been hella trailer park. This girl cannot dress herself to save her life and she is worth 300 million. She can afford the best of everything and still can't figure out when to get her busted extensions changed. She is country. She is small town Louisiana. She is combination Child Star/Back Country/Small town. I am also very convinced that she does not give a fuck about what she looks like. She wears the same narley boots, ripped and dirty tank tops...in fact the only time Britney is "styled" is when she has to for appearances. And for years prior, Britney had a legit army coordinating her schedule, her appearances, her surroundings, her finances, when she ate, when she pissed and slept. At some latter point, she slipped through the cracks and well, thats when she fucking lost it.
I''m only saying this for contextual purposes as none of this actually negates how I feel about Britney. I think Britney for my generation is like an ex boyfriend that comes and goes from your life. And you love him so much that you'll take all the shit he throws at you and you will always forgive him. You will lower your expectations just to have him in your life. And you will not hold him to the same standards as you would anyone else. Because you have history. You see how this works? I am emotionally attached to Britney. Britney can make videos like Radar, Hold it Against me, Gimme More in which she Zombie walks throughout and I will keep loving her. I obviously know there's better shit out there but fuck man, it's Britney. And at the end of the day, people root for her. Like for reals want her to be like she was. AND regardless of her backwardness, ass style, complexes whatever...NO ONE had that thing like she did back in the day. She killed it everytime. At the risk of sounding cheesy, she genuinely had that it thing. Her dancing was bomb and she was the hottest shit on earth. And then she went nuts and got medicated and now, she like, lags when she dances you know? She's just a bit...off. I have to say I was worried when she came out with Hold it Against me and the video was so ADHD as it cut away from her so frequently it made me exhausted just watching it. Now finally they released Until the World Ends and my god, I'm excited. It's very Slave 4 u...she looks more alive, more into it and I can even see a glimmer of my old Britney. When she gives that scolding gaze, when she hair flicks and when she smiles...It almost looks like she's not just doing this because team Britney is milking her for all she's got. It almost looks like she likes this. I'm all over it.