the Lohan demise

Lindsay Lohan, for some particular reason, has always completely fascinated me. When I first saw Mean Girls, and she first started to become a media darling, I wanted to be her. She looked fun, and fresh and was getting paid millions to star in shitridden movies. As the Lilo timelime goes...it was then that the Lohan delusion started to kick in. She got dumped by her first love Wilder Valderama for having too many issues and he couldn't handle that shit. Shortly thereafter, she became known for her frequent,tumultuous, late night visits to clubs all over L.A. She got hella skinny. Like my-arm-is-about-to-snap skinny. Then after all the partying and the thinnification, the drug rumours started to hit. and they hit hard. She managed to by pass those for a while until the production team of the movie Georgia Rule publicly tore her a new asshole claiming she was perpetually late and unprepared for work. She denied, denied, denied. Somehow (probably with a lot of blow) managed to wake up and finish the movie. After a few more "dehydration" and "exhaustion" bouts, studios began to find it hard to insure her for movies. Then they stopped letting her be in them. But the delusional enabling powerhouse that is team lohan continued to allude to the fact that she was indeed fine and pursuing different avenues such as fashion. [She started a crappy, expensive legging line, a spray tan line Sevyn Nine, and single handidly ruined an Ungaro Show as "artistic advisor" and was ultimately fired.] Oh and there was rehab...3 times. To which lilo compared to a "vacation". What a tit. Anyways, one day, after an argument with her assistant, Lindsay jumped in an SUV, with 3 passengers in tow, and went on a highway speedchase after her assistant's mom. She was arrested and oh looky here, the po-po found nose powder in her purse. But it wasn't hers... (insert collective eye roll here)
But Linsday is fine. Right?
Lilo subsequently resorted to being paid for club appearances (perfect job for a pennyless-washed up-cranked out-"rehabilited"-hag right?) and nonetheless failed, FREQUENTLY, to appear at her own "sponsored" events. She then bid farewell to cock and went all ultra lesbo with that skelleton DJ Samantha Ronson for some years. The well respected Ronson family, hated everything about her and pressured Sam into dumping her cranked-out ass. The DRAMA, oh the DRAMA. Lilo brought it in her relationship with Ronson. Did she ever! Videos of her sceaming and crying hysterically to Sam. Audio of them fighting and lohan shrieking. oh the shrieking ! Lohan continuously went on cracked out twitter rampages accusing Sam of cheating on her like every night...it was DRAMA. Ronson caved and DUMPED HER CRAZY ASS.
Now in true Lohan styles, Lilo stalks Ronson. From club to club, event to event. The most recent incident was one where Lilo allegedly threw a glass at Sam's head, which sources confirm indeed happen. Trousdale, the club in which it happened, Banned lilo for good.
BUT IT'S ALL GOOD RIGHT? Dina Lohan thinks every one just picks on Linsday. The media isn't nice and without merit hounds poor Linsday (enter pity party here). Yes Lilo has a messed up family. Her famewhoring father, using her for publicity and professing his devotion to "getting her clean" via TMZ is sickening. Do I feel bad for her? Of course. She's been the Lohan cash cow since day one - of course her mother will side with her. Though Michael is outright disgusting, Dina Enablerlohan is just as bad. "My child is fine" GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK
Linsday once said she didn't get why everyone made a "big deal" about her going out. And in hindsight, it's not. Because most young adult females do. But in the last two weeks alone, Linsday has gone out EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.until 3-4am. IS THAT FUCKING FINE DINA? Yes, Lilo, People your age, WITH AN ADDICTION PROBLEM, go out as much as you do. See?
Now Linsday has her 35 year old sister in tow (16 in actuality but com'on, look at this kid) and Michael is livid. Dina let's Ali stay with her cranked-out sister. Good intentions or not, Michael is right. THE FUCK? Dina says that Ali is in good hands with Lindsay. Yes the same Linsday who got ejected from the club, BANNED, goes out every night of the week, has been arrested for 2 DUI's and is being sued by the 3 peeps in the car for pretty much being kidnapped, has no job, and refuses to admit she has a problem....but Ali is Fine. Linsday is Fine. Dina is Fine.

They are all fucking crazy.
Will linsday change? No...I suppose it'll take a another drug scandal or another arrest to set her straight. But even then, her ENABLING mother will continue to stroke her ego and squeeze the profitability right out her. Momma's gotta eat right?

let's just be beautiful together

Circa 2004-2006 Sienna Miller and Jude Law were the couple. Just absurdly good looking together, perfectly styled and genuinely seemed like a good match. They were for-serious. THEN another tale of infidelity (this theme is running rampant on this site these days - straying penises everywhere)arose when it was reported that Jude Law stuck his dick in his kid's nanny.
A big scandal ensued...yadiyadiyada Sienna dumped him on his ass after several failed attempts at a reconciliation. Fast forward a few years, Sienna goes from homewrecked to homewrecking by bumping uglies with Balthazar Whateverwhocares-Ghetty. The public condemned her, and harsh started hating on her. She whined and denied it the whole way through. Huh, kinda funny how shit works out; it's as if karma knew beforehand that she was a cheatingslewt. Meanwhile Jude enpregnates another woman, has his FOURTH baby, demands a paternity test which innevitably proves he IS indeed the father. Don't think he's seen the baby yet. He's busy you know (???)
Anyways, over the course of the last few months Jude and Sienna have been spotted all over NYC; sleepovers at Judes, exiting restaurants, shopping...
Pictures are now surfacing of a very official couple, as they were spotted jetting off somewhere together.
Now I would be the first to be all over this with harsh criticism if it was due- but its not. Because they deserve eachother. And They look so right.
But the question here in lies whether you can really spend so much time apart, be broken up, (ruin other people's marriages and have a bastard child),inevitably find each again other AND make it work the second time around?
I don't know this. I really don't. I was a serial dater not a perpetual "girlfriend". So my experiences in break ups/and make ups is seriously lacking. Have they really found each other? Has he changed enough NOT to do it to her again? Can we put it past her not to do it him?
If all of my celebrity stars align these two will be joined in beautifulcouplepeoplematrimony. sigh.

I miss this shit

Yes people. A new boy band in 2010. They honestly make me so happy. Remember the personas? the bad boy, the heartthrob, the mysterious one, the leader-head singer...god, something for everyone! Don't lie. the coordinated/unison dance moves were the bomb! (the hand gestures, arm extensions, the reaching). The chesticles, always exposed at one point or another; the prolonged gazes into the camera, the wind machine, the microphone dance, the gay-faces...my friends, the list goes on and JLS is bringing this shit back! And I couldn't happier. They are big in London. I can tell you I could not care less about their names, all I care about is that all the boy band cheese is there!!! it's alive, and intact! Thank you Chloe for bringing this amazingness to me.
North America thinks it is way past the boy band era, thinks it's all about rappers, and "legitimate talent". Fair enough. But this shit used to sell hard. Remember YTV? on friday nights? It would play the top pop hits (this is probably only for the Canadians out there) I used to live for that! No internet bitches, I used wait a whole week to hear my songs play! Appreciate the boy bands for what they are; pure cheese and catchy tunes.
Maybe I'm being all nostalgic cause I served a 12 year girl birthday party today at the restaurant. At 12, I played barbies. At 12 NOW, they go to dances and suck d***. True story.
Bring back the cheese! bring back the cheese goddamn it!

you hear me America?

UPDATE! ***
Ok, so I know I said I didn't care about their names, and I still don't, but I did care to find out how they came to be. They formed their lil group together, auditioned in coordinated polos, and sang acapella together for x-factor in the UK (equivalent to American Idol)and won. They are actualy all good vocalists. Sigh. I love them more

I like you...But I do not like this...

I have been wanting to cyber-vent about this topic for a long time. For the media to criticize celebrity "weight gain" ON A REGULAR BASIS is completely disgusting. I have read blogs that tore Mischa Barton apart for eating IN PUBLIC because they say she is fat. Yes people, they say Mischa should not be allowed to publicly offend us by having a meal on a patio, in Los Angeles, on a sunny day. I have to remind you that these stars are always smaller then they seem in pictures, or movies or on tv. They are always skinnier, more wee and shorter. Mischa went from being scary skinny (during the OC) to completely healthy and average. But that is not good enough. So when girls like me, log on to online blogs like that, read articles such as those that tell me Mischa is fat, I think to myself, WTF AM I? Have I been guilty of commenting on a stars' weight gain? Yes. Have I ever felt a guilty-pleasure in knowing they are not immune to fat? Yes. Because sometimes I feel as though they are supposed to be perfect. And when they are not, it makes them real again.

But you see how this works? It's dangerous, and I hate it but Hollywood has accepted this in itself and I've come to accept Hollywood for it because it will not change. Hollywood may say that it will, but it still does not pick girls for roles if they don't fit into wardrobe. I have actor friends, and I've come to hear about this. The changing Hollywood is a fable for modern times. A myth. It's very existence relies on fantasy and making the general public admire people more beautiful then they are. We know this, the media knows this and the stars know it. The fact that the MAJORITY of those starlets exist on the Victoria Beckham diet (i.e. nothing and water) and are extremely unhealthy matters less then having more muscle and a little bit more fat??? UGH

Jessica Simpson is not one to evade such criticism. I will not post the infamous chilli-fair-mom-jeans, because they were terrible. Jessica looked terrible in them but not because she is fat, but because she cannot dress herself. No, Jess is not in daisy-duke shape (she was pin-thin and ate twigs) but she is considerably smaller then so. many. people.
Look at the picture above, Jess does not know how to dress her body. That is the main issue. I look and pose the same way in pictures when I'm wearing something that isn't flattering and makes me uncomfortable. I put my hands on my hips, suck in and walk around like that all night wishing I wore pants and a loose fitting top. And I don't understand her because she's got a nice rack and toned legs and instead, wears dresses that make her shoulders look boxy (cause they are, and she ends up looking like a rugby player) and knee long dresses that don't show off her best assets. Jess doesn't need a diet, she needs a stylist. or to get some taste, either one will do.

From one cheating skeeze to the next. Oh Jesse JamesPrick, have you learned nothing?

So Sandra Bullock, whom I love, wins an Oscar after being rewarded for her BODY OF WORK (not just The Blind Side, let's be honnest here, other performances knocked it out of the park last year) but whatever, we all love her anyways. She's known to be a Hollywood favorite and her career is blazing-hot-on-fire. Good for Sandy. Then less then 2 weeks after her celebrated win, we find out that her tattooed West Coast Chopper owner husband Jesse James was dickin'around on her for a.long.time. With randoms. With cheap bitches, busted bitches...like cheap skeeze.
Now many will come and criticize Sandy and Elin (Tiger's scorned wife) but can we really blame these women for not knowing?
You must understand that in the entertainment business, these couples are apart for weeks on end. They're always travelling and have meetings, public engagements, promotional tours and obligations to uphold. And two successful people are busy. Busy people are apart. It's NOT easy to maintain a marriage in Hollywood. And it's certainly not easy to keep tabs on your lover.
To further embarass Sandy, who has not been seen out in a month (as she in hiding, naturally), there were rumours of a sex tape between her and Jesse. Then there were rumours that he's a Nazi. Since one of his hookerslutwhatever-mistresses, Michelle McGee was rumoured to be one herself. Since you're a white supremacist by association??? Now the media turns it back on SANDY asking "she married a white supramacist and didn't know? She must of! She must be one herself!?" UGH I HATE THE MEDIA SOMETIMES. NO. that is so evidently false and sick to ever try and claim that about her. Angers me.
There has been no word from Sandy's team about what the next step will be. I, and presummably all of you, are rooting for a big fat divorce. And you know what, Elin might hang in there (probably cause she's too scared of Tiger's insane PR team, oh and the absurd amount of $$$ she might get/is getting, to leave) but I sincerely trust that Sandy will NOT. She's too strong. I really believe that.

So suck on strippertits Jesse. You can now dip set with all the trailer trash tattooed whorebags you want.

*** UPDATE

Bullock adopted a secret baby names Louis. See? You can have secrets in Hollywood

Sad day for my fellow Poles

Now I realize this isn't celebrity dirt and I'm not ripping apart Tiger Woods or that Jesse James prick or tearing on Jennifer Love Hewitt for needing a life, but I'm Polish... like full blown Polska styles and today is a sad day for my nation. We lost our President Lech Kaczynski and other political, military and religous elites to a tragically unnecessary plane crash in Russia. It's a hard day for Poland. I'll leave it to the news outlets to fill you in on the play by play but it had to be mentioned.

Pray for the nation and the families of the ones we lost.

Tiger Wood-yinmypantsallthetime

My boyfriend and I argue about this often. He is a SPORTS FAN. He can tell you stats about players and teams from almost any sport (from baseball, to basketball, to soccer, to FOOTBALL, to hockey...). He is also very rational and most of all loves to play devils advocate to piss me off. Well, we often combat on Tiger Woods.

I say

"he disgusts me, and he dragged his good pro-golfer name through the mud for cheap pussy"

he says

"who cares what he did in his personal life, he's amazing. he's a legend. he's changed the sport"

Ah, well my dear boyfriend.

I disagree. Why?

Because I do very much understand how much Tiger Woods has done for Golf. How he is amazing. I get it. BUT...what really bothers me (and you will learn this about me) is that he has presented an entirely different image of himself to the world. Tiger, you will never sell me on the sex rehab bull shit. never. You like pussy because you're rich and famous and you can get it all the time- THAT'S OK. I swear to you if Tiger Woods came out and said "I'm a freak and I like to bang", my hat would go off to him. But...Tiger Woods is a brand. Tiger Woods is backed by a PR team that has manipulated him since he became a somebody. So I do realize, that it is wishful thinking. But that is what I find bothersome. Tiger has tried to sell me the bullshit lie that he is a devoted family man; quiet, conservative and inoffensive. Please...have you read the text messages?

And apparently Tiger wants me to hate him more.

Tiger/PR put out an add for Nike, right before the Masters, which tries to portray him as a broken man. A solemn looking Tiger peers into the camera, as a voiceover of his deceased father plays on. WHAT.THE.FUCK. No, on so many levels. I suppose image revival trumps integrity. Nike/PR/Tiger figured that chopping up an old interview given by his late father (which does not even address Tiger directly) would pull on the heart-strings of the american viewers. "Forgive me for liking pussy! See? Even my dead dad would?" FUCK THAT.

NO.

But watch, because people forget too stupidly and easily and are eager to have a "comeback", they will forgive. They are forgiving now. Some will notice the Nike Ad. Some will watch the Masters. Some, after watching Tiger play will FORGET about everything. Brilliant Nike. Shamelessly, fucking brilliant.

So I suppose in some ways, the boyfriend is correct. They will forget. Stupid people will forget about what Tiger did and love him forever.

I have to quote Lainey at laineygossip.com when I say, I hate people sometimes.

Dear Shameless, gossip-loving addicts (you are, and you know it)

If you love celeb trash and scuz as much as I do then do NOT listen to the critics. Do not listen to those that shake their heads in disapproval and tell you that you like this "celebrity scheisse" because you like to "escape".

Pfff....Fuck yeah I do. And I say back, "who doesn't"?

Why do I care about other people's lives? Random, sickeningly entitled, rich and SHAMELESS people with whom I have no association? Because it is FASCINATING. And for those who criticize, they do not understand how truly interesting celebrity culture is. Yes, I'll admit, I care about who-wears-what and who-broke-up-with-who but my obsession goes beyond mere aesthetics and rumours. I love how they are a part of our daily lives, how they make us buy, how they sell their products, how they hustle, how they are controlled and manipulated themselves and I love watching them fumble because it makes them human again. Don't criticize me for loving them...we created the celebrities. We made them icons. All in all, it's a fierce game and I love watching the ones that make it, and the ones that don't. The celebrity culture extends to politics, sports, movies, music - there. is. so. much. to. know.

So for those hypocrites who love to criticize and impose judgments because they are too cool or too deep to care about something they buy into every day, knowingly or unknowingly, I say go fuck yourself. Because I CARE.

Now that I got this out of the way,

Lets gossip friends,

because we are all shameless- loving-wannabe-famewhores-at-heart anyways. In one way, or another.

Love,

Paulina Kay