No more. I cannot handle this.

Have you seen this? Crazy Stupid Love.
I've decided to pretend like Ryan Gosling doesn't exist because it's too much. He was too much before I saw him half naked. He was too much when he was so passionate in Blue Valentine. He was too much when I found out he's quirky and weird when I read his GQ article. Now...I just can't.
If you do not find him attractive, you are made of stone. My answer to any question to the effect of "if you could with any celebrity..." RYAN GOSLING. "who is your favorite..." RYAN GOSLING. And so on.


If I ever heard him say to me "wanna get outta here?", I would have a stroke I think. If I was twelve, I would have his poster in my room and kiss it goodnight.
I once bumped into him on the corner of Homer and Smithe about two years ago. He was with two friends, wore a sexy leather jacket. Wasn't too tall which is more than fine. I was with my two girlfriends (shout out to Nemers!) and we were all waiting for the light to turn to cross the street. I think he head nodded a hello (I'd like to believe that). Moments before, we had just raided 7/11 on a late night snacks and junk food run....
And I was eating a goddamn Toquito. I was standing in front of RYAN GOSLING and I was eating the armpit of food. Cruel, cruel world.

It's like the old you again (kind of)

I remember in first year university, when I first came across Perez Hilton, intently following Britney's mental breakdown. Though it felt as bad as watching (and kinda sorta enjoying) a slow moving car wreck, I couldn't not follow my childhood idol get into some weird shit. The wigs, the aimless driving around, the partying, the crapastic Gimme More video, that fucking painfully cringefull VMA performance, the photoshoot antics, the umbrella waving and um, the head shaving...like that is an A+ in nutty public unravelings. "How did that happen? Not our Britney!" Ummmmmmm....
People often forget though that Britney Spears has always been hella trailer park. This girl cannot dress herself to save her life and she is worth 300 million. She can afford the best of everything and still can't figure out when to get her busted extensions changed. She is country. She is small town Louisiana. She is combination Child Star/Back Country/Small town. I am also very convinced that she does not give a fuck about what she looks like. She wears the same narley boots, ripped and dirty tank tops...in fact the only time Britney is "styled" is when she has to for appearances. And for years prior, Britney had a legit army coordinating her schedule, her appearances, her surroundings, her finances, when she ate, when she pissed and slept. At some latter point, she slipped through the cracks and well, thats when she fucking lost it.
I''m only saying this for contextual purposes as none of this actually negates how I feel about Britney. I think Britney for my generation is like an ex boyfriend that comes and goes from your life. And you love him so much that you'll take all the shit he throws at you and you will always forgive him. You will lower your expectations just to have him in your life. And you will not hold him to the same standards as you would anyone else. Because you have history. You see how this works? I am emotionally attached to Britney. Britney can make videos like Radar, Hold it Against me, Gimme More in which she Zombie walks throughout and I will keep loving her. I obviously know there's better shit out there but fuck man, it's Britney. And at the end of the day, people root for her. Like for reals want her to be like she was. AND regardless of her backwardness, ass style, complexes whatever...NO ONE had that thing like she did back in the day. She killed it everytime. At the risk of sounding cheesy, she genuinely had that it thing. Her dancing was bomb and she was the hottest shit on earth. And then she went nuts and got medicated and now, she like, lags when she dances you know? She's just a bit...off. I have to say I was worried when she came out with Hold it Against me and the video was so ADHD as it cut away from her so frequently it made me exhausted just watching it. Now finally they released Until the World Ends and my god, I'm excited. It's very Slave 4 u...she looks more alive, more into it and I can even see a glimmer of my old Britney. When she gives that scolding gaze, when she hair flicks and when she smiles...It almost looks like she's not just doing this because team Britney is milking her for all she's got. It almost looks like she likes this. I'm all over it.

#LOSING

BAH I TOLD YOU SO.

I called his properly-crazy-self-righteous-addict behavior months ago with the hooker in the bathroom incident. See here for a reminder:
Charlie Sheen, hooker and a hotel room
He was an overpaid addict then, and he is a jobless addict now. He has properly screwed his crew, his co-workers and the studio that turned a blind eye to his shit for years. Finally CBS and Warner Bros. decided to condemn him and tell him to fuck off cause they're firing him. Sheen's show had been the highest rated on television (...the fuck??????) and was extremely lucrative for execs (which would explain their inaction). After the show was put on indefinite hold, Sheen appeared high as shit and pimping his crazy on every show that would let him talk (= rating gold.)
Act? Yes. Sheen is out of work. He was making over a million dollars an episode. He has two baby mommas both of which make about 50 000 dollars a month from him in spousal and child support. Though he has millions in assets, Sheen needs to fucking work. So, while he is a network pariah, he must sell his crazy hard. Catchphrases, t-shirts, a popular twitter account, interviews and now a tour (????)
Act? No. Though he is aware of the popularity and following he is generating with his antics, I still don't believe he understands how fucked he is. Sheen thinks he's living his life the way he wants to, and that its all funny, and that he's in full control of his reckless behavior, and that he's awesome for living with cracked out porn stars-goddesses-whatever -- and what scares me is that people love to forget that this guy is a fucking dad. He has twin boys with Brooke Mueller, two girls with Denise Richards and a grown up daughter from another relationship (too lazy to look that shit up). Is that not fucked? I don't care how clean Good Morning America claims Sheen's pee is -how hard is it for this fucker to get someone to pee in a cup for him, really. He must know he's not fooling anyone, he must.
Now Sheen is ready to sue for a 100 million and I've read that despite all his shit, he has a case. Which is annoying because regardless of getting fired, fucking his crew over, treating women like shit (this guy is a notorious abuser), being a drug addict, shitty dad, he still fucking WINS cause he's continuously being rewarded for being fucked up. I guess he was right when he said that he wins here and there, cause he does. BUT when he becomes a novelty and when his body decides to give out from all the drugs, he will FAIL.

Societal Pet Peeve of the Day - Three course meal during class

I should have snapped a picture of this. It was beyond ridiculous. A girl shows up properly 20 minutes late for class. Disruptive enough, as it is a note-taking intensive class where the teacher just talks as much and as fast as possible and we all type furiously. So she finally makes her way into the front of the class. Then, for what seemed like the longest 2 minutes of everyone in the class's lives, she starts unpacking 3 Tupperware containers from a loud-ass plastic back. THEN she starts slowly opening them all up; one container had some cut up fruit, the other had some white jizzy looking stuff and the third was a tin can with what looked like dried flowers. She starts mixing all three together. Seriously? WTF???? I fully understand that some people have classes back to back and some classes are all the way across campus...so I get eating like a granola bar, or a quick bite of some left overs, or a sandwich...but like unpacking, mixing, putting away...in classs....in the front row...when you're late... sorry I don't get it.
Ultimately though, who doesn't have the 10 minutes at some point in their day to stop and eat. Or if you don't, wouldn't you bring something normal?
Such a "really dude?" moment for me. I guess there are just some things I can't fucking understand.

feeling awkward for people and bong hits

That describes the Oscar hosting situation. On the left you had James Franco, who appeared to have checked-the-fuck-out, eyes barely open, can't even be bothered to finish a sentence with any sort of enthusiasm, and looked as though he had been hitting a bong between sets and theennn you have Anne Hatheway who was so awkwardly unfunny, nervous, sttrruuggling to pick up the slack, knowing she sucked (that was the worst part) and not having any idea how to save it. Though their montage was good (obviously it was good, they're fucking actors) the opening skit and everything else hurt (obviously, they're not comedians). I properly hate being embarassed for people. Like you know when you're on the bus, and a crazy person gets on it and starts yelling obscenities at the bus driver? And you can feel that tense awkward vibe and you're feeling bad for driver that has to deal with it? Or when some one yells at a clerk or cashier? And you're both embarrassed for the yellee and yeller? Shit man, that makes me sooooo uncomfortable. Well that was the opening monologue for me. I wanted it to all stop. For them to just say fuck it.
Remember when Hugh Jackman hosted and he did this hilarious musical mash-up of all the best picture nominees? That's what they should have done. I mean, when it comes to comedy I could literally think of a million other combos that could have been put together. Let's play this game.
-Alec Bawldwin and Sandra Bullock
-Robert Downey-Junior and Jude Law
-Louis C.K. and Kathy Griffin (Good God!)
-Justin Timberlake (I'm thinking of the cool,SNL J.T.) and Sarah Silverman (Why not)
-Ellen Degeneres (again) and anyone
...I could play this game all day.
And p.s. I'm not just putting this on Anne and James, were the writers for this thing out to lunch? Or did they put everything they had into the taped sequence?
For a vid of what should have happened (though nothing can top this)copy this link. It's worth it. (youtube won't let me re-post it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Terhj8mjPwY

PS I got 5/6 for my picks. Damn Inside Job.

This is some funny shit

You know how I like to talk about self-centered asshole celebrities, who believe in their own hype and think they can go around treating people like garbage and live without any sort of consequences? Because they can and because we keep allowing them to do so, and because we keep buying their shit and seeing their movies? Yeah. Those douchers. Well this song sums it up.

I mean think about a child actor. Who's told they're amazingly talented and unparalleled in beauty at a time in their development when they should be learning about responsibility, general education and other normal social endeavors. Then they stay in the same bubble (with publicists and mom-managers and agents) that pushes them to do more and more so the team and families can profit from the kid as long as possible before the fad passes. Then they grow up, believing they are as untouchable and special as they always have been told they are and become full blown self-entitled adults who don't understand the concept of being told NO. They have moms and dads and great aunts to support so everyone stays on their good side. That's some fucked up shit. In light of my Superbowl today, the OSCARS, here's a lovely song that breaks it down so well why artists can be such fuckers.

HA

Societal Pet Peeve of the Day - Weather Appropriateness

So in Vancouver it rains probably 70% of time. It can be warm and cloudless and sunny and within an hour, the weather can turn to damp shit. If you've resided here more than a week, you know. Wear a jacket and bring a compact umbrella.Everywhere. Even if its sunny. That is the unfortunate trade off for living in our city. It may be pretty but the rain fucking sucks. always. Anyways, I have two HUGE pet peeves when it comes to clothing: dress for your body and wear weather appropriate shit. For the former, I believe that anybody can look good no matter the body type, it's just a case of understanding what fit works best. NOT ALL TRENDS WORK FOR ANYONE (that should be a commandment). I have thick runner thighs (that fact will never escape me) and a short torso and a fat ass. That is my reality. And I deal. I cannot wear high-waisted pants or else I'll look like a stuffed sausage. That is fine. I've accepted it.
Now for the latter...how is that EVERY SINGLE TIME it is properly raining I see someone in fucking flip-flops and shorts. UMM....IT'S FEBRUARY. That is so not okay. Why would you even allow yourself to leave the house with flip flops on, in Vancouver, in February (like one of the dampest, coldest goddamn months of the year). It just...it doesn't make sense. I can expand the idea of retarded footwear to high-heeled open toe shoes which I also often see around campus. It's school. Lot's of walking from one building to the next to the bus loop and back. WHY? And it happens all the time! Like, shocking.
My acute problem with weather dressing is either wearing too much or not wearing enough layers. I also blame the unpredictability of Vancouver for this one. In October especially, when there are residuals of nice weather from the summer... dressing oneself is a total arbitrary guess. I get up and have class early in the morning when it's freezing, and throughout the day it gets warmer (or may piss rain) so who the fuck knows what to wear. Just layer and wear water resistant shoes (not Uggs).

Bottom line - do away with flip flops till summer. It otherwise, will always look wrong, wrong, wrong.