Gum will be the death of me

I know I should be essay-ing it up at the moment, but I have to take the time to rant before my head explodes.
GUM.
I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say that I never, ever chew gum cause I do. But I chew it only for immediate flavor or for a bad breath quick fix. I do not chew AT LENGTH. Despite how unappealing the idea of chewing on your own bacteria is, that is not the core of my beef against gum. I don't hate gum per say, I hate everything about the chewing of it.
Setting aside the fact that I seriously believe myself to have some form of misophonia (hatred of sound) disorder, I cannot bring myself to justify loud, obnoxious and crude gum chewing. It elicits some form of a reaction in me, just short of murderous rage.
You want to chew gum? Okay, that's completely fine. BUT let's say, you're in a dead quiet study room. And you chew your gum SO LOUD, and pop gum bubbles SO OFTEN and sharply that you have the teacher's assistant bobbin' his head out from between the computers to figure out who the hell is also driving him NUTS with the popping and the chewing. I know I'm not alone in this cause years and years ago I remember Oprah talking about how she finds it to be the most disgusting habit on the planet. And how she once had a guest at one of her dinner parties, put her old gum on the rim of Oprah's plate (WE HAVE ALL DONE THAT... well on our own plates, not Oprah's). That grossed out Oprah so bad she threw the plate out. Now I know we're not all able to be throwing out plates left and right cause we're not gazillionairs but the point is, Oprah hates gum too. And more importantly she said, "who can possibly look good while looking like they are constantly chewing a big fat steak". Sigh. So true. See? even Oprah said so.

You hate me now don't you?

Sing for me Darren, sing for me

Amazing right? Like, I don't even remember what Train's version sounds like anymore. I just picture Darren Criss singing it to me and that's all that matters. He's hands down the best thing to happen to Glee. As much as I love Lea Michelle's talent, 90% of the time I feel like I need her to get out of my face making Criss's interjection on the show that much more welcomed.

Bitch get your own table!

So this just happened. At school, in a study/cafeteria area, a girl on her laptop was occupying a small table (size of a desk), minding her own business. The area is full. A lady walks over to the girl and informs her that because she has food, and because the said girl isn't "doing anything", she should give up her spot so that said-bitch can sit down. The girl was clearly a bit thrown from this rude request, and agrees. Now, instead of sharing the table the lady JUST STOLE from the girl, she pulls it towards her end and leaves the girl to awkwardly rest her computer on her lap. The lady doesn't say, "oh is it okay if we share, so that I could have some place to eat?" No. straight kicked the girl out from her spot and took over. Fucked no? My god, I wanted to say something, OH MY GOD it was so hard to just sit there. I'm so lame like that, no balls sometimes. I also need to stress that this area is a first come, first serve type of seating place. No priority. It's not a restaurant. The cafe is there if you happen to be hungry.

I have a similar personal story. I was sitting at a Starbucks reading my book and drinking my latte when a lady (always fucking ladies that have the inner bitchiness to do this kind of shit) asks me if I want to leave my table and join some else's (some complete stranger) oh and BTW she left it to my discretion to now go table hunting table because SHE has nowhere to sit with her friend. Thanks for the offer bitchy-lady #2! I was soooo intimidated that someone could be so self righteous to impose that because I was alone I had no merit in sitting there enjoying myself at a two seater table. And because I was alone I had to GIVE UP my spot for her and her friend. I just told her I would be leaving soon anyway, and she stood over my shoulder, while I was packing up my shit, and basically pushed me out of Starbucks.

So what would most people do if the place was full? Fucking leave!!! you leave. If there's no room, you can wait around for a bit, but if nothing opens up...you leave!

Like who are these ladies to decide that what you are doing is inconsequential? Who are they to say that your time is up when they have just arrived themselves? Who are they to tell you that their pressing business trumps yours?

I wanted to pimp slap that lady in the face. And any other person like her.

Societal pet peeve of the day - bus etiquette special

Okay. Let's go over some simple social decorum. Bus is full. Bus doors open. If you're wanting to get into the bus, you WAIT for people to exit before you make your move. Easy right? No. It's evidently not easy at all. On the regular I have people who, when I'm trying to get out, start to force their way through the crowd. Just an unnecessary bustle. Drives me absolutely nuts. Also, while we're on the bus topic I may as well let the whole bus etiquette rant roll

1. On a full bus you TAKE OFF your overstuffed backpack because if I happen to be sitting, and you're standing, your backpack happens to be consistently hitting me in the face every time you turn around.

2. If you are seated in the upper front area of the bus, you are in the child and elderly people priority section. If the bus is full, or all the seats closest to the bus entrance are full, you GET UP and offer your seat. Once too many times have I seen a young punk sitting while an old lady, about to keel over, stands. NO. I'm by no means a saint, but I was raised with a Polish mum and that is like, a social requirement on public transit over there. If that kid wouldn't offer his seat in Europe, someone would offer it for him. Or tell him off. True story. Anyways, I am programmed, especially when sitting in that zone, to scan who comes on the bus to make sure i'm not jacking some old lady's seat.

3. Singing to yourself on the bus. Sometime people do this, people with ear phones. There are worst things, yes. But that's just plain awkward. No one wants to be embarrassed for someone else.

4. Loud and intrusive conversation for EVERYONE to hear. Again, keep that shit to yourself cause it's awkward. Don't involve the whole fucking bus in your business.

5. Let's assume the bus is rather empty. Must you sit right next me? Really?

I take the bus enough to feel that a lot of people are actually good on all of these things. Especially avid or daily commuters. I am one. And so when there's is that one inconsiderate son of a bitch that disrupts everyone trying to get from point A to point B (let's face it, no one rides the bus for the fun of it) and makes it that much worse....it gets a serious rise out of me.

Me and the UK girls

This sucks man. My chances of becoming royalty are now down to one prince.

William is engaged. He proposed to his longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton in Kenya last month. Love her. Love him. And I love so much that she isn't of great auspicious wealth - coming from, what the Royals would consider, a modest/common background. Can you imagine 30 years ago? During the Diana era? No way would the Queen have let that fly. Kate must of hustled hard and been really upstanding for the Royals to be down with a "commoner" in their lineage.

I've personally had an affinity for the Princes since I was really wee - and if I recall correctly, Princess Diana's death was one of my first exposures to a Media Shitshow. I remember being all up on that, watching the news everyday...listening to the speculations. I also remember the boys walking together with their Dad, very stoic and brave, on the day of their mothers funeral. Sad. So since then I had decided I'd marry Prince William and make him happy again. And now, me and the UK girls (especially) are heartbroken cause we only have Harry left. And I could be down with the ginge-prince cause he's wilder and more badass. And unconventional. Which equates to hope. Marry another commoner? Harry would .

I'm worried for Kate with all the paparazzi hounding and stalking. As we've seen in the past, it can be incredibly damaging. And it'll be bad, especially come wedding time. I hope she's strong enough for how relentless the media is going to be now that she's got mighty big shoes to fill - no doubt the brits are gonna be ruthless with the Diana/Kate comparisons - scrutinizing her every flinch. Oh and the WORLD is watching.

No big deal.

That's the trade off for stealing my fantasy and my Prince.

What's this about?

Honestly...nothing. Just about a gangsta Pug picture.

And because Pugs are badass mofo's.

Paulina, That's My Name

Rihanna's What's My Name featuring Drake is my repeat song of the week. Wickedly addictive hook, flirty...And now there's a video. And I have to say, they have some crazy crazy chemistry. Member when they used to date? Oh they did, and Rihanna bailed on that shit. But clearly they worked it out. He digs her, no?

I haven't yet had a Riri post. Don't let that fool you because I'm a closeted Rihanna super fan. And how much she's evolved as an artist is so wonderful to see. She's now so much more organic, mature and comfortable in her videos.

I also try to avoid the fact that she is only 22, (MY AGE) and like, a megastar. I feel like a such a loser. And speaking of losers, it appears that she's moved on from that Chris Brown fucker and is in a really good place.

And Drake too. Looks like a nice enough guy. He's Canadian (+1 off the bat) and I, personally, dig him.

So there they both are, cute as fuck.

Societal pet peeve of the day

Let's consider this; it's a relatively small walk way, a main artery, [if you will] that is narrow and flooded with people. How is it that you'll always get that cluster of people who decide it to be a good idea to stop IN THE THICK OF THE CROWD to have a conversation, hug, stand around etc. After repeatedly being "excuse-me'd" a million times, one would expect these people to feel out that they are seriously clogging crucial walkway and move. but they don't. they never do. At work, you'll have people who stand IN FRONT of the doorway between the patio and the lounge, get nudged repeatedly because they are in the way, and still STAND THERE. it boggles my mind, it lacks social decency. Next time, at school its a backpack in the face and at work it's tray in the rib cage.

I feel better now.

Feed your musical soul with my latest obsessions.

GOD, this song makes me wanna run ten km beach side or have the most rambunctious night of my life with friends. Dog days are Over for me is uplifting and different. You know those movies you see and they make you want to be that or share the feeling the main character is experiencing? For example I got that feeling after watching Blue Crush. I just wanted to surf pipe or save the world or something. But I digress...
Sigh. Florence and the Machine:



And how bout for some Mumford and Sons, The Cave? Yes. Let's have some of that too. One of those completely random videos that played on Much Music late night video flow. And its so so wonderful. You're welcome:

Let's introduce something new, shall we?

I've decided to expand. Maybe because Hollywood is limiting...but maybe because I also have more to say. Expect posts to range from culture to many my ridiculous thoughts (aka looking up or noticing completely random and irrelevant shit). I will continue to write about celebrity stories because its my obsession. And because sometimes I need to vent about how incomprehensible and ludicrous Hollywood truly is without anyone choosing to hear me or not.

Onwards and forwards. New day, new posts.

-PK.

Remember that time you went blowhead nuts on a porn-star in a hotel room? No? Sheen probably doesn't either.

Charlie Sheen was at the Plaza hotel in New York on a trip with Denise Richard and their children when his coke-binge-slut-threatening ways came to light again. In his hotel room (the girls and Richards were in another)Sheen decided to let the crazy out when he accused random pick-a-ho of the night Capri Anderson (said slut)of stealing his watch. Apparently he went nutter-butters and made Capri fear for her safety. Whilst the porn "star" was locked in the bathroom, Sheen took his fit out onto the room and caused, allegedly, thousands or dollars worth of damage. The police came and assessed the situation, Sheen has not yet been charged of probation violation ***
[*** In case you fail to remember the wonderful Oh-So-Sheen-Christmas where he tried to attack his then wife Brooke Mueller with a knife and threatened to kill her]
BUT the Capri is suing him for lots more than his watch is probably worth. Well, given his track record I don't blame her. Richards herself claimed that he used to be violent and often lost his shit on her -- 'member that nasty he said, she said war-of-words they had? He also has a long standing track record of hoes and blow. AND GUESS WHAT
Sheen's publicist says he's FINE! (the publicist Dina Lohan'ed that shit) -- nothing happened, Sheen is totally completely FINE and the incident was blown out of proportion by the media. fucking hate Hollywood.
Its people like the publicist, and the stupid show he works on (WHERE HE GETS PAID 1.5 MILLION AN EPISODE, FML)and aaaallllll the other yes people that blow hot air into Sheen's ass who enable motherfuckers like him to go on unpunished for their ridiculous and entitled behavior and still get paid more than any other actor on television.
and I MUST DIGRESS how the fuck does Sheen on 2 and a Half Mengarbageunfunnyshow, who only cracks shit jokes and has no acting range on the show other than truly playing himself, make more money then someone like Bryan Cranston who has 3 CONSECUTIVE Emmys for his dramatic and piercing role on Breaking Bad (if you haven't watched it, you suck and get on it). HOW???? fuck, I absolutely hate HATE this industry sometimes.

Anyways, I assume that Sheen will settle with Capri out of court to avoid having details emerge from that night that apparently never existed (according to Sheen's publicist). Heard she wants to testify at his probation hearing...so we'll see how that all unfolds because I have serious doubts that Sheen will face any consequences. And, in case you forgot, he will continue making more money than anyone of us could ever dream of having, and continue to make hookers lock themselves in bathrooms because of his inevitable wrath.
Unsettling? yes. Surprising? No.

sad keanu.

Keanu Reeves got photographed eating a cupcake, alone, on a bench. Now people are photoshoping him into various different settings and its killing me. this.shit.is fucking.hilarious. Do yourself a favor and google "sad keanu" and you will stumble upon thousands of pictures. An interviewer recently showed him some photographs and he apparently had no idea this was going on:

i:Seriously, though, this is one of the reasons I think one of the big appeals of you as an actor is that people are always straining to figure out what's on your mind, what you're thinking, why you're sad … There's thousands of people doing this.

k:Wow. So, what, now they're putting me next to other objects?

i:Yes! For instance, right now I'm looking at you in some Banksy graffiti, you next to a panda.

k:That's so funny.


godamn are people ever creative sometimes.

WTF is Catfish???

Only a vague premise of the movie is allowed to be given up and any other details of the flick are considered to be huge spoilers. So I don't want to read into it too much and ruin a movie I've been obsessing about since I read a review in a local newspaper last week. It comes out today, and I'm considering seeing it alone because I dont have the patience to beg anyone to see it with me.

*** UPDATE

Catfish is deceiving. and the build up is not justified in the end.

Update: Lohan sent to the slammer

Finally someone heard my plea to give this twat a dose of the you-are-not-above-the-law medicine. (smirk). This morning, for Lohan's hearing, Judge Elden Fox immediately revoked her bail (which was unexpected considering hers is a misdemeanor offence) and sent her straight to the clink until october 22nd for a subsequent hearing. Lindsay should sit on this one for a while; prison in and outs, drug addiction, arrests, 5 BILLION trips to court, being considered the parasite of Hollywood...just..sit on it Lindsay. Re-evaluate. You got all the time in the world now

*** UPDATE

Lohan was promptly removed from the pokey and sent to rehab until January 3rd, 2011. I still think she thinks that she is "living out her college days in public". No, bitch, you fucked up.

Daayyuuum JHud

Saw this this morning. And luckily I was eating fruit. Because this is depressing for me but wicked for Jennifer Hudson. This girl looks good. And although I will never ever ever ever agree that she should have won that oscar (won it on pure momentum and I thought she was good but not phenomenal) and something about her just seems smug, I recognize she's been through a lot and she deserves to feel like hot shit.She's repping Weight Watchers and from what I can tell it worked. My old highschool teacher did the slow and steady Weight Watchers way (a point system) and after 2 years, dropped a shit ton of weight. I don't know if this makes me want to waltz into a mcdonalds and eat my fill or never.eat.again. Well it makes me want to do the latter though I will most likely do the former.
ugh.

Lindsay blew her chance at a fresh start up her nose...again

You know already about my Lohan fascination. It's the most deliciously fucked up family. I don't feel bad in saying that their plight brings me entertainment. They all live in denial, think everyone is agaisnt them therefore find the need to try to upright LIE about anything and eveything. Remember when Dina would tell us that Lindsay's fine? That it's only the media putting a negative spin on Lindsay's public image? That the judge, who put her crank ass in jail for 90days then 90 day rehab was fucked in doing so? Yeah. That Dina. Well post jail term and inpatient rehab, Lindsay seeemed to be slowing it down. Simply because she had no choice. State ordered she give random drug tests every week and attend A.A. regularly. But Lindsay is infallible to drug test...right?! So she went ahead and did blow and anphetamines and tested positive. Backed into a corner, Linsday has no choice but to fess up; "Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn’t go away over night,” she wrote. “I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day. I am testing every single day and doing what I must do to prevent any mishaps in the future...this was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences".
For most, accountability would be a positive step forward. In Lindsay's case, its not. She didn't confess for herself or to better herself. She confessed because she had no way to DENY it. I can absolutely imagine this smug bitch laughing her way through her tweets. Accountability isnt a word that Dina cares to implement in her children's lives or her own. If one can just pretend everything is fine, then it is right? As long as my kid gets a pay check then everything is fine right? Fucking Dina. Dina knows no one will hire lindsay's crank ass so she's gotta be convincing. Cash cow > drug problem. Cash cow daughter trumps cranked out daughter. See? But wonder what Dina will say for herself, having been Lindsay's biggest "she's fine" campaigner. Will she finally admit that she's a fucking liar? OF COURSE NOT. Dina will spin this. Spin it hard. Watch...it'll be someone elses fault and some how, even through Lindsay's drug addiction confession, Dina will make sure to dilute the situation and blame the judge ( blame the Judge is Dina's favorite game) Anyways, through the tweets, Lindsay can play the sympathy angle. Trust me, this bitch has no intention of getting clean. The fine angle CLEARLY failed on so many levels so she's got nowhere else to go. Lindsay still believes we're all either against her or stupid enough to not see how fucked up she is. Anyways, she's got a court date and, if she even shows, she can be thrown back into the slammer for 30 days. Good. Fuck, keep her there.

Paris, I Love You?

I've forever tried to understand what this Paris Hilton-thing is...What does it do? Why should I care? It looks asymmetric in the face and has giant feet. It has for one, money. For two, connections. For three, a sex tape. That would be the making of fame. I guess you could also throw in a prison stint freebie to catapult it to superstardom. Just this past weekend, I saw it. Not Paris Hilton the thing, but Paris Hilton in the flesh.
We were in Vegas, in her party stomping grounds, and went to XS nightclub. This club is ridiculously-on-another-level-amazing. Needless to say, I had fun. Walking by one of the main stairwells that led to the dance floor, we noticed a crowd gathering...A big hustle. And She wasn't hard to spot...There she was, Paris Hilton in her sparkly, obnoxious glory, blond hair and braided bangs dancing up a storm in her V.I.P. booth, surrounded by security and personnel. but she wasn't alone, Nicky Hilton and her B.F. David Katzenberg were in tow. Being a self proclaimed celebrity know it all, I could barely contain myself. My friend takes out her camera and sets up for a pic, when Paris's (I'm going to call her, her "handler") whips around and starts furiously yelling "to put away the camera right now!" (I soon find out why, other then the obvious "privacy" reason and ps. we managed a phone pic, above). We gaze and stare for a bit longer then wonder off to do our own thing. A good while later, we leave the club for a breather and a phone call. Standing near the front to get back in, a V.I.P. XS host comes up to us and asks us if we want to party at Paris hilton's booth.... UH FUCK YEAH. The three of us got escorted through the club, dropped off at her table, handed champagne glasses, and all the sudden we're partying with Paris. She was OBLITERATED. Nicky was WASTED. And lord knows, the Cristal was FREE FLOWING. There must have been at least 25 bottles of Cristal on the table, and several V.I.P. servers just opening them. Every time I took a sip, Champagne. Every time I looked away, Champagne. At one point, I had 2 glasses in my hand, sipping both at the same time. The reason being for our invite, as far as I can tell is that the entourage looks good and the more bottles they open, the more she gets charged. So we danced, and sipped and internally kept freaking out that Paris was dancing right in front of us.
Well dancing is an operative word... more like thrashing and arm wagging. At one point Paris decides to jump up on the booth ledge and starts droppin' it, swaying back and forth...she needed three security people and David to hold her up. She did not give a shit. And XS didn't either. If any one of us commoners had been that publicly mangled I promise you we'd be tossed out. I guess its also because we're not footing a 250, 000$ bill (supposedly). After a while, I got used to her just stumbling around and cared more about drinking. More Champagne. The V.I.P. servers didn't ask, they just poured. Perfect, I'll take it.
In true i-have-too-much-money-style Paris takes a Cristal bottle, shakes it...and champagne fight! Fucking rich people.
Thinking we've reached the pinnacle of our night, we got word that Usher was coming. And he did. He came right to the table. Dressed in black, with dark sunglasses and shorter than I had imagined, Usher was standing at arms length from me. And the Hilton thrashing stopped. I'm calling it Hilton thrashing because both Paris and Nicky are THE.WORST.DANCERS.EVER. like holy-off-beat-angry-hand-waving. She perked up, seemed to instantly sober up and leaned into his ear and exchanged words. Her dead limbs weren't flipping around and she wasn't being hoisted up. Funny.
Usher stood in the same spot and didn't say much (though he did smile at us). His presence was too cool, he was too cool for Paris and even when they played OMG, his song, he was too cool. Very DL. And before I knew it, he was gone.
And like a freight train, She came at me. All the sudden I have Paris leaning on me and "dancing". My face, I've been told, was fixed in this weird freak out smile.
I touched it, I interacted with it. Now I'm over it.
Soon after my brush with the Paris, we left. Probably because it was 5am, or because we were wasted, either way I DO NOT REMEMBER leaving. I got home and toilet hugged until the wee hours of the morning but throwing up free Hilton Cristal made it ok. The Paris mystique has for me faded; she still parties hard, she's a terrible dancer and she's actually pretty in real life. To me she was grand, of course, but we got used to her. I got used to seeing her around, and even the next night we saw her again, at the same club and we shrugged her off and did our own thing. Understand this, I would never shrug away an Usher, a Jay-Z or even a Natalie Portman, That's all the Paris Hilton I needed.


==

the Lohan demise

Lindsay Lohan, for some particular reason, has always completely fascinated me. When I first saw Mean Girls, and she first started to become a media darling, I wanted to be her. She looked fun, and fresh and was getting paid millions to star in shitridden movies. As the Lilo timelime goes...it was then that the Lohan delusion started to kick in. She got dumped by her first love Wilder Valderama for having too many issues and he couldn't handle that shit. Shortly thereafter, she became known for her frequent,tumultuous, late night visits to clubs all over L.A. She got hella skinny. Like my-arm-is-about-to-snap skinny. Then after all the partying and the thinnification, the drug rumours started to hit. and they hit hard. She managed to by pass those for a while until the production team of the movie Georgia Rule publicly tore her a new asshole claiming she was perpetually late and unprepared for work. She denied, denied, denied. Somehow (probably with a lot of blow) managed to wake up and finish the movie. After a few more "dehydration" and "exhaustion" bouts, studios began to find it hard to insure her for movies. Then they stopped letting her be in them. But the delusional enabling powerhouse that is team lohan continued to allude to the fact that she was indeed fine and pursuing different avenues such as fashion. [She started a crappy, expensive legging line, a spray tan line Sevyn Nine, and single handidly ruined an Ungaro Show as "artistic advisor" and was ultimately fired.] Oh and there was rehab...3 times. To which lilo compared to a "vacation". What a tit. Anyways, one day, after an argument with her assistant, Lindsay jumped in an SUV, with 3 passengers in tow, and went on a highway speedchase after her assistant's mom. She was arrested and oh looky here, the po-po found nose powder in her purse. But it wasn't hers... (insert collective eye roll here)
But Linsday is fine. Right?
Lilo subsequently resorted to being paid for club appearances (perfect job for a pennyless-washed up-cranked out-"rehabilited"-hag right?) and nonetheless failed, FREQUENTLY, to appear at her own "sponsored" events. She then bid farewell to cock and went all ultra lesbo with that skelleton DJ Samantha Ronson for some years. The well respected Ronson family, hated everything about her and pressured Sam into dumping her cranked-out ass. The DRAMA, oh the DRAMA. Lilo brought it in her relationship with Ronson. Did she ever! Videos of her sceaming and crying hysterically to Sam. Audio of them fighting and lohan shrieking. oh the shrieking ! Lohan continuously went on cracked out twitter rampages accusing Sam of cheating on her like every night...it was DRAMA. Ronson caved and DUMPED HER CRAZY ASS.
Now in true Lohan styles, Lilo stalks Ronson. From club to club, event to event. The most recent incident was one where Lilo allegedly threw a glass at Sam's head, which sources confirm indeed happen. Trousdale, the club in which it happened, Banned lilo for good.
BUT IT'S ALL GOOD RIGHT? Dina Lohan thinks every one just picks on Linsday. The media isn't nice and without merit hounds poor Linsday (enter pity party here). Yes Lilo has a messed up family. Her famewhoring father, using her for publicity and professing his devotion to "getting her clean" via TMZ is sickening. Do I feel bad for her? Of course. She's been the Lohan cash cow since day one - of course her mother will side with her. Though Michael is outright disgusting, Dina Enablerlohan is just as bad. "My child is fine" GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK
Linsday once said she didn't get why everyone made a "big deal" about her going out. And in hindsight, it's not. Because most young adult females do. But in the last two weeks alone, Linsday has gone out EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.until 3-4am. IS THAT FUCKING FINE DINA? Yes, Lilo, People your age, WITH AN ADDICTION PROBLEM, go out as much as you do. See?
Now Linsday has her 35 year old sister in tow (16 in actuality but com'on, look at this kid) and Michael is livid. Dina let's Ali stay with her cranked-out sister. Good intentions or not, Michael is right. THE FUCK? Dina says that Ali is in good hands with Lindsay. Yes the same Linsday who got ejected from the club, BANNED, goes out every night of the week, has been arrested for 2 DUI's and is being sued by the 3 peeps in the car for pretty much being kidnapped, has no job, and refuses to admit she has a problem....but Ali is Fine. Linsday is Fine. Dina is Fine.

They are all fucking crazy.
Will linsday change? No...I suppose it'll take a another drug scandal or another arrest to set her straight. But even then, her ENABLING mother will continue to stroke her ego and squeeze the profitability right out her. Momma's gotta eat right?

let's just be beautiful together

Circa 2004-2006 Sienna Miller and Jude Law were the couple. Just absurdly good looking together, perfectly styled and genuinely seemed like a good match. They were for-serious. THEN another tale of infidelity (this theme is running rampant on this site these days - straying penises everywhere)arose when it was reported that Jude Law stuck his dick in his kid's nanny.
A big scandal ensued...yadiyadiyada Sienna dumped him on his ass after several failed attempts at a reconciliation. Fast forward a few years, Sienna goes from homewrecked to homewrecking by bumping uglies with Balthazar Whateverwhocares-Ghetty. The public condemned her, and harsh started hating on her. She whined and denied it the whole way through. Huh, kinda funny how shit works out; it's as if karma knew beforehand that she was a cheatingslewt. Meanwhile Jude enpregnates another woman, has his FOURTH baby, demands a paternity test which innevitably proves he IS indeed the father. Don't think he's seen the baby yet. He's busy you know (???)
Anyways, over the course of the last few months Jude and Sienna have been spotted all over NYC; sleepovers at Judes, exiting restaurants, shopping...
Pictures are now surfacing of a very official couple, as they were spotted jetting off somewhere together.
Now I would be the first to be all over this with harsh criticism if it was due- but its not. Because they deserve eachother. And They look so right.
But the question here in lies whether you can really spend so much time apart, be broken up, (ruin other people's marriages and have a bastard child),inevitably find each again other AND make it work the second time around?
I don't know this. I really don't. I was a serial dater not a perpetual "girlfriend". So my experiences in break ups/and make ups is seriously lacking. Have they really found each other? Has he changed enough NOT to do it to her again? Can we put it past her not to do it him?
If all of my celebrity stars align these two will be joined in beautifulcouplepeoplematrimony. sigh.

I miss this shit

Yes people. A new boy band in 2010. They honestly make me so happy. Remember the personas? the bad boy, the heartthrob, the mysterious one, the leader-head singer...god, something for everyone! Don't lie. the coordinated/unison dance moves were the bomb! (the hand gestures, arm extensions, the reaching). The chesticles, always exposed at one point or another; the prolonged gazes into the camera, the wind machine, the microphone dance, the gay-faces...my friends, the list goes on and JLS is bringing this shit back! And I couldn't happier. They are big in London. I can tell you I could not care less about their names, all I care about is that all the boy band cheese is there!!! it's alive, and intact! Thank you Chloe for bringing this amazingness to me.
North America thinks it is way past the boy band era, thinks it's all about rappers, and "legitimate talent". Fair enough. But this shit used to sell hard. Remember YTV? on friday nights? It would play the top pop hits (this is probably only for the Canadians out there) I used to live for that! No internet bitches, I used wait a whole week to hear my songs play! Appreciate the boy bands for what they are; pure cheese and catchy tunes.
Maybe I'm being all nostalgic cause I served a 12 year girl birthday party today at the restaurant. At 12, I played barbies. At 12 NOW, they go to dances and suck d***. True story.
Bring back the cheese! bring back the cheese goddamn it!

you hear me America?

UPDATE! ***
Ok, so I know I said I didn't care about their names, and I still don't, but I did care to find out how they came to be. They formed their lil group together, auditioned in coordinated polos, and sang acapella together for x-factor in the UK (equivalent to American Idol)and won. They are actualy all good vocalists. Sigh. I love them more

I like you...But I do not like this...

I have been wanting to cyber-vent about this topic for a long time. For the media to criticize celebrity "weight gain" ON A REGULAR BASIS is completely disgusting. I have read blogs that tore Mischa Barton apart for eating IN PUBLIC because they say she is fat. Yes people, they say Mischa should not be allowed to publicly offend us by having a meal on a patio, in Los Angeles, on a sunny day. I have to remind you that these stars are always smaller then they seem in pictures, or movies or on tv. They are always skinnier, more wee and shorter. Mischa went from being scary skinny (during the OC) to completely healthy and average. But that is not good enough. So when girls like me, log on to online blogs like that, read articles such as those that tell me Mischa is fat, I think to myself, WTF AM I? Have I been guilty of commenting on a stars' weight gain? Yes. Have I ever felt a guilty-pleasure in knowing they are not immune to fat? Yes. Because sometimes I feel as though they are supposed to be perfect. And when they are not, it makes them real again.

But you see how this works? It's dangerous, and I hate it but Hollywood has accepted this in itself and I've come to accept Hollywood for it because it will not change. Hollywood may say that it will, but it still does not pick girls for roles if they don't fit into wardrobe. I have actor friends, and I've come to hear about this. The changing Hollywood is a fable for modern times. A myth. It's very existence relies on fantasy and making the general public admire people more beautiful then they are. We know this, the media knows this and the stars know it. The fact that the MAJORITY of those starlets exist on the Victoria Beckham diet (i.e. nothing and water) and are extremely unhealthy matters less then having more muscle and a little bit more fat??? UGH

Jessica Simpson is not one to evade such criticism. I will not post the infamous chilli-fair-mom-jeans, because they were terrible. Jessica looked terrible in them but not because she is fat, but because she cannot dress herself. No, Jess is not in daisy-duke shape (she was pin-thin and ate twigs) but she is considerably smaller then so. many. people.
Look at the picture above, Jess does not know how to dress her body. That is the main issue. I look and pose the same way in pictures when I'm wearing something that isn't flattering and makes me uncomfortable. I put my hands on my hips, suck in and walk around like that all night wishing I wore pants and a loose fitting top. And I don't understand her because she's got a nice rack and toned legs and instead, wears dresses that make her shoulders look boxy (cause they are, and she ends up looking like a rugby player) and knee long dresses that don't show off her best assets. Jess doesn't need a diet, she needs a stylist. or to get some taste, either one will do.

From one cheating skeeze to the next. Oh Jesse JamesPrick, have you learned nothing?

So Sandra Bullock, whom I love, wins an Oscar after being rewarded for her BODY OF WORK (not just The Blind Side, let's be honnest here, other performances knocked it out of the park last year) but whatever, we all love her anyways. She's known to be a Hollywood favorite and her career is blazing-hot-on-fire. Good for Sandy. Then less then 2 weeks after her celebrated win, we find out that her tattooed West Coast Chopper owner husband Jesse James was dickin'around on her for a.long.time. With randoms. With cheap bitches, busted bitches...like cheap skeeze.
Now many will come and criticize Sandy and Elin (Tiger's scorned wife) but can we really blame these women for not knowing?
You must understand that in the entertainment business, these couples are apart for weeks on end. They're always travelling and have meetings, public engagements, promotional tours and obligations to uphold. And two successful people are busy. Busy people are apart. It's NOT easy to maintain a marriage in Hollywood. And it's certainly not easy to keep tabs on your lover.
To further embarass Sandy, who has not been seen out in a month (as she in hiding, naturally), there were rumours of a sex tape between her and Jesse. Then there were rumours that he's a Nazi. Since one of his hookerslutwhatever-mistresses, Michelle McGee was rumoured to be one herself. Since you're a white supremacist by association??? Now the media turns it back on SANDY asking "she married a white supramacist and didn't know? She must of! She must be one herself!?" UGH I HATE THE MEDIA SOMETIMES. NO. that is so evidently false and sick to ever try and claim that about her. Angers me.
There has been no word from Sandy's team about what the next step will be. I, and presummably all of you, are rooting for a big fat divorce. And you know what, Elin might hang in there (probably cause she's too scared of Tiger's insane PR team, oh and the absurd amount of $$$ she might get/is getting, to leave) but I sincerely trust that Sandy will NOT. She's too strong. I really believe that.

So suck on strippertits Jesse. You can now dip set with all the trailer trash tattooed whorebags you want.

*** UPDATE

Bullock adopted a secret baby names Louis. See? You can have secrets in Hollywood

Sad day for my fellow Poles

Now I realize this isn't celebrity dirt and I'm not ripping apart Tiger Woods or that Jesse James prick or tearing on Jennifer Love Hewitt for needing a life, but I'm Polish... like full blown Polska styles and today is a sad day for my nation. We lost our President Lech Kaczynski and other political, military and religous elites to a tragically unnecessary plane crash in Russia. It's a hard day for Poland. I'll leave it to the news outlets to fill you in on the play by play but it had to be mentioned.

Pray for the nation and the families of the ones we lost.

Tiger Wood-yinmypantsallthetime

My boyfriend and I argue about this often. He is a SPORTS FAN. He can tell you stats about players and teams from almost any sport (from baseball, to basketball, to soccer, to FOOTBALL, to hockey...). He is also very rational and most of all loves to play devils advocate to piss me off. Well, we often combat on Tiger Woods.

I say

"he disgusts me, and he dragged his good pro-golfer name through the mud for cheap pussy"

he says

"who cares what he did in his personal life, he's amazing. he's a legend. he's changed the sport"

Ah, well my dear boyfriend.

I disagree. Why?

Because I do very much understand how much Tiger Woods has done for Golf. How he is amazing. I get it. BUT...what really bothers me (and you will learn this about me) is that he has presented an entirely different image of himself to the world. Tiger, you will never sell me on the sex rehab bull shit. never. You like pussy because you're rich and famous and you can get it all the time- THAT'S OK. I swear to you if Tiger Woods came out and said "I'm a freak and I like to bang", my hat would go off to him. But...Tiger Woods is a brand. Tiger Woods is backed by a PR team that has manipulated him since he became a somebody. So I do realize, that it is wishful thinking. But that is what I find bothersome. Tiger has tried to sell me the bullshit lie that he is a devoted family man; quiet, conservative and inoffensive. Please...have you read the text messages?

And apparently Tiger wants me to hate him more.

Tiger/PR put out an add for Nike, right before the Masters, which tries to portray him as a broken man. A solemn looking Tiger peers into the camera, as a voiceover of his deceased father plays on. WHAT.THE.FUCK. No, on so many levels. I suppose image revival trumps integrity. Nike/PR/Tiger figured that chopping up an old interview given by his late father (which does not even address Tiger directly) would pull on the heart-strings of the american viewers. "Forgive me for liking pussy! See? Even my dead dad would?" FUCK THAT.

NO.

But watch, because people forget too stupidly and easily and are eager to have a "comeback", they will forgive. They are forgiving now. Some will notice the Nike Ad. Some will watch the Masters. Some, after watching Tiger play will FORGET about everything. Brilliant Nike. Shamelessly, fucking brilliant.

So I suppose in some ways, the boyfriend is correct. They will forget. Stupid people will forget about what Tiger did and love him forever.

I have to quote Lainey at laineygossip.com when I say, I hate people sometimes.

Dear Shameless, gossip-loving addicts (you are, and you know it)

If you love celeb trash and scuz as much as I do then do NOT listen to the critics. Do not listen to those that shake their heads in disapproval and tell you that you like this "celebrity scheisse" because you like to "escape".

Pfff....Fuck yeah I do. And I say back, "who doesn't"?

Why do I care about other people's lives? Random, sickeningly entitled, rich and SHAMELESS people with whom I have no association? Because it is FASCINATING. And for those who criticize, they do not understand how truly interesting celebrity culture is. Yes, I'll admit, I care about who-wears-what and who-broke-up-with-who but my obsession goes beyond mere aesthetics and rumours. I love how they are a part of our daily lives, how they make us buy, how they sell their products, how they hustle, how they are controlled and manipulated themselves and I love watching them fumble because it makes them human again. Don't criticize me for loving them...we created the celebrities. We made them icons. All in all, it's a fierce game and I love watching the ones that make it, and the ones that don't. The celebrity culture extends to politics, sports, movies, music - there. is. so. much. to. know.

So for those hypocrites who love to criticize and impose judgments because they are too cool or too deep to care about something they buy into every day, knowingly or unknowingly, I say go fuck yourself. Because I CARE.

Now that I got this out of the way,

Lets gossip friends,

because we are all shameless- loving-wannabe-famewhores-at-heart anyways. In one way, or another.

Love,

Paulina Kay